THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
