People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
