I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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