ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
