so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
