Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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