If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
