I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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