he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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