Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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