Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
