Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
don't judge my taste in strippers
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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