can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
