People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize