do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
