All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
