God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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