I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
