Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize