love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You can't just leave with hair like that
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
