i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
