I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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