My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
