They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
