marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
How's work?
Spinning.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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