why didn't you poke me back
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
