he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
