Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
