your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Houston, we have a squirter
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
