Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
