i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
