Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
