why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
