He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
