I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
