Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
