I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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