i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
