If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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