So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
