were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She bit a glass in half.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
