This girl is more easily done than said...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
