I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
