I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
