just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
