you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
