Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
