I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
