This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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