I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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