What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
