i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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