i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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