chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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