Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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