Im at strip club and am horny
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize