Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
