Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize