May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
