we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Your penis caused this!
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