Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize