i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
