Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize